I picked a very hard road to travel. My life has never been easy and I have never been one to set still for even a moment. An Addict cannot have an idle moment or thought it is all about that next move,the next score, and when you’re going to have to re up. In my way that was actually part of the life I enjoyed. The steady flow of things,the give and take,the hustle and grind of it all. Who was looking,Who was holding,Who was talking, Who was in and out. The steady flow of information, constant background noise, The constant hum of a busy life. I loved that being in the loop of things and there is a loop trust me. The life is hard and it goes without saying you man up for what is yours in life but there was a lot of honor a lot of loyalty to it as well. We do not see ourselves as criminals or that you have anything to fear from us. We are just an extended family with a long reach and an intimate knowledge of pain. So we looked out for one another, kept up with what was going on in each others lives, and helped each other out when we could. We are also one of the most diverse groups of people we don’t see race or gender, nor do we care who is gay or straight, you see being a drug addicted is a lot for two people to have in common. It means we can relax be ourselves and not have to worry so much with hiding and keeping our secrets. Most of us are really good people with a really bad problem that is all. We work hard every day to maintain our lives and our family. Yes I have my regrets and if your life touched mine an I hurt you in some way I am truly sorry but I am not ashamed of my life or where my road has taken me. I don’t miss all of the life but some of it I do and always will. In that life your either in deep or your out and being clean means your out. I miss my family and will always love them I worry about them like any good Mother would. So all in all a bad choice, a hard road to travel, but a Hell of a Ride.
Truly Me Truly,